My Baby Don’t Mess Around Because He Loves Me So

It’s spring!!! Finally the dreadful winter is over (knocking on imaginary wood) and I feel like myself again. I won’t lie to you, I was feeling some serious seasonal depression that made me want to curl up in bed and cry all winter long. Now that I don’t have to wear that humongous frumpy winter coat and those bulky boots, my life seems just a little better. Lots of new things are happening for instance; I’m moving to a land far, far, away in a few months (hopefully), I have some new directions for the food blog, I’ve been working on my novels, and I’m exercising like nobody’s business. It’s Allie version 3.0.

But as the season begins, I’ve noticed some rather strange things about crazy NYC. Thus it’s time to share my advice with everyone:

1. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. I know we all get a little carried away with good weather but please no flip flops, sandals, tiny miniskirts and shorts. Be reasonable people.

2.  To the people working out at the gym, leotards aren’t cute. Cut that out.

3. Gnomes are not what David the Gnome would like you to believe; they don’t do good deeds and save the world. They are sinister, and I’m sure they are plotting your demise right now. So please don’t put them on your lawns. And yes, I’ve seen stoops and lawns with gnomes. Not cool.

4. Winter is over, so unless you are extremely tired, don’t order food online. Go out and pick it up, don’t miss out on the weather or the fresh air.  Or if you are staying in and cooking, open the windows and have some friends over. That way everyone has a reason to enjoy the weather and themselves.

5.  I feel it’s ok to watch scary movies that take place in a snowy landscape in the spring, so that way if you’re scared all you have to do is look out the window and go phewww, that can’t happen here. 

6. Save up and buy some new clothes. I don’t know about all of you, but winter is when you gain some weight, so those beautiful clothes you had last year aren’t fitting just right yet. Buy some dresses, work out and fit back into those tight jeggings. I’ve seen too many people trying to squeeze themselves into their clothes and believe me, just because you can get it on, doesn’t mean you should have it on.

7. Why does no one with an umbrella look where they’re going here? I’ve nearly been decapitated at least 10 times already this season.  And the next time I will take your umbrella and throw it into the street, then dance and laugh at you because there is nothing you can do while your fancy shoes and business suits get soaked.

8. And lastly, if you’ve got a reason to shake it like a Polaroid picture (throwback to the title of this blog post) then do so instead of walking around glumly. Shake it for love, for happiness, for success and for the awesome weather!

Allie

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4 Responses to My Baby Don’t Mess Around Because He Loves Me So

  1. nicole says:

    Soo does that mean I cant wear flip flops or shorts?!! its been crazy hot here…hehe and ohh outkast that was one amazing album!! haha..

  2. Laura says:

    No flip flops and sandals ever? I do not understand. #5 and #7…ha ha ha ha hahahahahahahahaha! Another wonderful post! 🙂

  3. Megz says:

    Hahahaaa!

    A very funny post ♥

  4. Diana says:

    What’s the definition of good weather in New York? Because I’ve totally already worn sandals and shorts this year.

    BTW – I love that Nazi zombie movie! That was one of the best zombie movies ever.

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