Saying Goodbye 3 Years Later

I cherish my memories; I hardly forget anything and I can recall some of the weirdest and strangest times. I think I’m terrible with something which makes me really good at something else, which is remembering. That said, today marks the third year of my mother passing into the land of Morgan Freeman, where she is likely having a tea party with friends and listening to Jimi Hendrix. I’m sure she has a busy social schedule, she was incredibly popular in life.

I won’t say that I’m not still having my moments where I wish she were here, but I’m getting better at acceptance. After all, death is just another part of life and you have to appreciate the times you had, so here are my top five Mom memories

1. For her last birthday (6/11/2007), I couldn’t afford a gift. I was really miserable about it, but I decided to have some fun with her instead. So that birthday afternoon, I taught her how to make Puff Pastry dough. It was so unbelievably exciting for her and I was glad to have done this with her instead, it was better than any gift and in the end we were closer for it ( and we had apple turnovers!). We were covered in flour (because cooking with me is always a bit messy) but we were smiling.

2. I had this big flute recital, so I told everyone in my family that I had it and that I wanted them to come. My Mom, Dad, and Sister all told me they were too busy and couldn’t make it. I was really disappointed but the show had to go on. I was midway through my performance when I saw my Mom looking on from the back. It was one of the best moments, and such a beautiful surprise.

3. I can be a bit of a loner and I appreciate a bit of quiet sometimes. I came home for winter break from college and planned on enjoying my solitude. On New Year’s Eve, my sister was out, my Dad was working and my Mom went over to a friend’s house. I stayed home, cleaned the house and experimented with recipes for dinner. I had just finished dinner and started dessert when she came home. I asked her why she didn’t stay until New Years with her friends and she said, I would rather spend it with you. I cannot tell you how happy that made me, so we ate dessert and watched movies. It was the best New Year’s I’ve ever had.

4. We would sit in the backyard and she would have my French textbook on her lap, drilling me on my French vocabulary. For so many years she helped me study French, made sure my writing was legible, and although she never cared what grades I got, or even about what I was studying, she did it because she knew I wanted to be as smart as I could be. I think this always made her proud, and that’s why she was such a big part of it.

5. I really really really love green beans. So she decided to grow them in the garden one year, and when they were ready  I was so excited I came up with the green bean song. A song she called the most annoying song ever created, which is saying something because I also created a song about a pigeon that hung out (is that right to say about a pigeon?) across the street, which she also hated. So anyway, over the years, I would sing this green bean song just to annoy her, and she would hate it so much. One day while she was cooking, I heard her humming the song. And when I looked over at her, she smiled at first and then said “I hate this damn song!” I think she secretly loved it. It’s not a profound memory, but it makes me laugh just the same.

I think to myself, what would she think of how I am now? Would she love the guy I’m with and would she be happy that I’ve learned to relax a bit about life? I think it’s a yes on all counts, and if she were here now, she would be so proud of the things I’ve done and changed. So although I miss her, I know I can do it all without her as long as I have my memories and I don’t forget all the little things she taught me.

Thanks to all my readers and until next time,

Allie

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8 Responses to Saying Goodbye 3 Years Later

  1. adrienne says:

    I miss mom so very much too and always think of the good times and laughs

  2. Lisa says:

    *hugs*

  3. Darrah says:

    Your Mom was a great lady. She had a way of making you feel like you were family and that you were always welcome. That is unless you weren’t welcome and she would let you know that too. 🙂 I hope your black day is not too black this year.

  4. Dr. Yvette Lockhart-Bembery says:

    So beautifully written…you allowed all to celebrate your special memories1
    I know she is very proud of you and how happy you are in the space you are in….

  5. Jenn says:

    I am sure your Mom would be uber proud of all you have accomplished and love your guy just as much as the two of you love each other. You are such a great writer, I loved reading your memories.

  6. nicole says:

    amazingly beautiful! 🙂 xoxo.. I know your mom would be soo proud of everything you have done in your life thus far.. you are an wonderful person and im sure you got alot of your wonderfulness from her!

  7. Laura says:

    It’s not nice to make the readers cry! 🙂 I love your memory sharing! …and now I would like to hear the green bean song so that I can sing it too! 🙂

  8. Diana says:

    This is such a sweet post! I think it’s fantastic that you honor your mom’s memory by sharing such special moments on here. I think she’d be very proud of you.

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