I have a lot on my proverbial plate currently, and when the going gets tough, get crazy-that’s what I always say. And by always say, I mean I just made that up because it sounded good, but also I will use anything as an excuse to be a little more crazy.
So to keep it short and sweet, I am going to write down my top random thoughts of ingeniosity (yes it’s not a word….. yet) this week and share them with you all. Be ready for the guaranteed wisdom or proof that my mind is a bit overwhelmed.
1. In yoga class last night, as I looked in the mirror I thought that if all of our butts decided to fight each other, mine would reign supreme. Next I thought- how come there are no yoga moves that involve fun animals like giraffes or elephants or anteaters? And lastly, if a horde of ninjas break in, would we be able to defend ourselves using yoga techniques? I hope so….
2. A woodchuck could chuck as much wood as he wants, you know, depending on his mood. So no more asking-how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood…. The secret is out of the bag, and plus, I have a really hard time saying this sentence.
3. I would like to create a separate facebook account under the name Jabba the Hut and thus I would be anonymous. I would like people to add me, and when I comment on pictures or statuses, I would write illegible yet audible noises. And for my female friends, I think it would be really fun and complimentary if I tell them I would like to enslave them.
4. I was watching the food network when I saw a commercial for a giant, GIANT, pizza. I really love pizza. There’s no real point to this thought except to say, pizza rocks like a hurricane.
5. Five is my favorite number of cookies to eat at any given time. Although one should NEVER eat five cupcakes back to back, pieces of chicken, or pounds of lasagna. Pretty much it’s exclusively the acceptable number of cookies and/or pieces (not bars) of chocolate to have in one sitting.
6. Speaking of cookies, because I was eating some last week- I love girl scout cookies, but I worry that the girl scouts might actually be demons in disguise. It is likely they were sent here to sell us cookies full of demonic compounds that will eventually allow them to take over the world, and they’ll giggle maniacally at their amazing plan. But I still loves me some samoas.
7. Aretha Franklin could and would beat Beyonce in a pie-eating contest. And that for no other reason makes me respect Aretha more.
8. Evil children in scary movies prove that nightmares can come true. Evil children are more common in reality- therefore there is a higher likelihood of encountering an evil child than say- a zombie cow. I also never want to encounter a zombie cow.
9. Julia Child could be drunk and missing ingredients, but could still kick Rachael Ray’s ass in the kitchen and in a fist fight. It makes me sad that she passed- I always thought she would live forever on account of all that good food and wine drinking.
10. This one is a bit sappy- but deal with it. I think I might actually be one of the luckiest people in the world; I have some wonderful friends (especially one who is very understanding and unbelievably handsome) that still talk to me even though I may (I said may) drive them crazy from time to time. One day when I’m rich, I will take you all on vacation to either some South American country where we might run the risk of someone wanting to steal our vital organs and it’ll be really scary but suspenseful, or Hawaii where we can learn to surf…. The choice is yours…. but please pick the latter- I love my organs.
I’ll try to get back to normalcy- well normalcy for me, next week. Big things are happening and time is definitely flying now. But I’ll make it and you’ll hear from me for realz <—-yeah I went there.