Yes, I know I am of the flubberwusterly persuasion, and slowly, very slowly, I am making my way toward being of the flubberwusterly yet normally so population. Ok, who am I kidding, right now I’m below average, I should be considered normal, but you know what, I’m not. I am, and always will be, considered a mighty Amazon warrior among women. To prove my point, I took my measurements last night- I’m 5’8, my waist is small, my hips and shoulders are wide, and in fact they have the same measurements meaning I have the dreaded and apparently envied hourglass shape. So what’s the problem?
The problem is, this isn’t enough right? It’s never enough. We women want to keep pushing ourselves until we are size 4’s, and we can wear bikinis without seeing a roll of flab. Breaking news: YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE SOME FAT ON YOUR BODY, and even if you don’t see it, it’s in your mind eating away at your concepts of perfection. Get used to it and get over it. I am right now wearing size 10, sometimes size 12 pants. I fit into a size 8 dress. My hair is unbelievably humungous, I do believe if Chaka Khan and Genghis Khan had a love child- it would have my hair. My bottom is in a separate zip code-and I couldn’t be happier. Why can’t other women feel this way? Why do we watch tv and look at these impossibly thin girls, and say- oh I wish I looked like that?
I am an article reader, I read so much it’s crazy. One thing I have learned about these women on screen is that they are miserable too. They love having bodies to envy, but they hate that they don’t get to eat good food, and that they exercise in their free time instead of enjoying themselves. Is it worth it? Would you rather be envied for your body or be envied for your enjoyment of life? I’d take the latter in a heartbeat. I want my cake, and I want to eat it too. And I’ll exercise later, and make sure I get in all the stuff I should be eating each day, but I won’t give up happiness to please anyone but myself.
One last thing, and be surprised everyone, larger women have the same, and according to my research, MORE sex than smaller-sized women. Why is this? Well based on the research, women who have more enjoyment out of life, have fun, don’t care so much about every little thing they consume and how much exercise they get regularly at the gym are more appealing to men. Think about it- who wants to go on a date with a woman who will not eat 7/8 of the food on the menu- and complains that now she has to go work out to make sure that cheesecake doesn’t catch up to her ass? Thin-obsessed ladies may feel more confident getting naked, but normal women, once naked, embrace it. And apparently embrace it a lot.
See that look right there? That’s the look of happy defiance- I will always be somewhat chubtastic and I will not give up yummiliciousness to become a size 4. I’ll take a size 8 any day. I’m cool with it- are you?