Dreams are not invincible entities; they live, they grow, they change, some come true and some just die. The great thing about dreams is that once one dies or is met, another pops up that gives you something to strive for and look forward to again. I love dreams; dreams allow you to see a future full of hope and possibilities, so whenever I say goodbye to one there is sorrow, reflection, and eventually creation of a new one. This happened to me in so many ways over the last two weeks.
For all my PhD pursuing, 2 out of 3 were resounding no’s. One a rejection, the other I turned down. These dreams were dead and dying, and I couldn’t be happier, scared, but happy. Sometimes you have dreams that aren’t your own, and have motivations that are unbeknownst to you until you watch as they become impossibilities. You derive a sense of happiness when you realize that you are better off without these dreams.
Love is a dream too- we dream for a person who complements our personality, makes us happy when we are sad, and loves us and much as we love them. In life love is a dream that repeats and repeats, coming true and dying over the course of an indefinite amount of time. We move on because we have to and because we learn there is only ONE person in the world that will make me happy when I’m sad, and whose love should never change from the utmost. That’s me, myself, and I.
It’s hard when you’re young and all you want is love; sweet and unconditional love. The older you get the more you understand that love does not define you. You define it -when the times comes. It’s a hard lesson to learn and there is heartache to be felt before you let go of these dreams of love and work towards your dreams of life. For me, do I want to write a cookbook or look around for a guy who could possibly make my dream of love come true? The first is easier because it only involves me, the latter could be the biggest waste of time. How can you look for something you cannot see when you have no proof it even exists? I have to keep hoping that when the time is right, it’ll happen on its own. We all want to control things that are so pivotal to our livelihood, but love is of a tumultuous nature- it cannot be controlled, it cannot be seen, only felt.
Julia Child once said: “Find something you’re passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it.” That’s exactly what I’m going to do, I bought my own domain for a food blog (eatsweetordiebitter.com) and I am working on my cookbook; I can and will single-handedly make my dreams come true. As for love, if it happens that will be great, if not, I’ll have spent my time being tremendously interested in the passion that defines me. And one other thing- I love me, love is only truly worthwhile if someone else loves the you you love.