It’s that time of year again when city sidewalks, busy sidewalks are dressed in holiday style (expensively so), chestnuts are roasting on an open fire of DOOM, and annoying jingle bells are all over the frickin’ place, resulting in headaches and impossibly long sentences like this one. This is also the time when my wallet looks bare and I begin to think about moving to Guam. But then also, I realize that I will want to buy a hut in Guam and harvest mangoes, all of which costs money. In the end, I agree to stick it out without moving to Guam because I know that I can’t harvest mangoes.
So when I look at my empty wallet, every year I think- Oh I should get a second job, but then immediately after I go, no, too lazy. So then I get a lot of harebrained ideas like, I’ll make hats, one year I thought I could make trendy ballet flats, sell loaves of bread and jars of jam, or even help plan winter weddings. But again, I can’t really sew, and my idea of trendy is colorful buttons, and who really wants to buy loaves of bread and jars of jam from a crazy nobody, who will don an old English accent in the streets, screaming BREAD, BREAD for sale!! And also, I’ve never even been to a wedding and I don’t really like overly happy events or people….
Therefore, I’ve decided that in order to pay for everything this year, I am going involuntarily on a Special K cereal diet. Yup it’s true. First, there was a sale on Special K, next, I can no longer afford groceries for the next two weeks. Will I survive? Stay tuned for later this week…..
P.S. If I seem crazier next post, it’s the cereal going to my head.