Have you ever been torn between two separate loves (I’m not talking significant others, this isn’t the Twilight series ok?)? When it comes to careers, it’s a path that unfolds only as I step ahead, there is no way to see the road and it’s all about going in blind. Each day and each year is a complete surprise to me. Sometimes that’s a good thing, it’s great not to have everything planned, but I’ll admit it creates some anxiety about the future. And it makes me realize that I have two options really…..
Libraries and food. These are the things that interest me the most in my professional life. So much so that I get terribly confused as to what I should be doing forever. So I have created a list of career choices I know that I would be superbly awesome at and absolutely qualified for if things don’t work out the way I want them to. And I took some advice- I’m using funny pictures as a companion to my ideas, ridiculously fun.
List of Really-Kind-Of-Good Careers:
1. Vampire Slayer- I know I can do this one, unless there is a super cute vampire that wants to be friends when I attempt to kill him, and then we become friends only to discover that we aren’t that different and maybe love is about accepting the undead.
2. Cookbook Author- Of course I would be good at this one, it combines food and writing. The only hard part would be making my recipes normal. The whole process is- I have to think everything is a disaster that I have to fix, and then it becomes this new creation of awesomeness. I’m the backwards approach to baking, first cookbook title: From Disaster to Dessert, compliments of Chef Lavornia.
3. Elephant Tamer- do we need an explanation for this?
4. Ancient Acquisitions Librarian- yeah this doesn’t exist yet, but if it did exist the way I want it to, I would be like Noah Wylie in The Librarian; finding ancient artifacts all around the world, and thwarting evil conspirators who want to use these powers to take over the world. I would be way cool and I would wear impossibly awesome shoes.
5. Matchmaker- I could bring even the most reluctant and unlucky people together into a harmonious union that will change the world of love. I love love, and it makes me really happy when everyone else is happy in love. I could be like Will Smith in Hitch, isn’t that wonderful?
6. Time Traveler- I haven’t worked this one out yet, but all in due time.
8. Food Critic- Actually I did this job before, and it ROCKED! I loved it. The money is nice, and the food is usually pretty good, unless it’s not which I would write about in a witty sometimes scathing way. Man do I miss being witty and scathing. Only problem is, saying NO to eating everything. This is really hard.
9. Person who puts music to fit scenes in a movie….. what is their title? I want that job, I love music, and I really like watching movies.
10. Professional Bocce Player- oh you didn’t know you could go Pro in this sport? Well you can’t, but if the game ever became wildly popular, you better believe I’m the best. And ok, so what, I know only old European men play this game, but it’s not that crazy. Really.
I also think I would make a fairly good ghost hunter (if I could stop being so terrified of the idea that ghosts could exist), bakery owner, zombie consultant, gourmand, fiction writer, news reporter, low-key and often off beat comedian, anything on the food network (seriously, I’m waiting for their call any day), food writer, fake Australian accented Safari narrator, and word creator for dictionary companies. That’s all I’ve got for now, but the good news is- I will definitely have a surprising future…..