Ok, I admit, I love Queen but mostly because of the Fat-Bottomed Girls song. Because I have a fat-bottom. I can relate. But back to Queen, every time someone tells me they are riding a bicycle, or hey look there is a bicycle, or oh did you see that bicycle, I start singing ALOUD like a crazy person, BICYCLE, BICYCLE, BICYCLE, I WANT TO RIDE MY…..
Which is why I have dedicated a post to some of my idiosyncratic thoughts.
1. Since I was a kid, I have wanted to be Indiana Jones. My mother told me that I couldn’t be him after I fell out of a tree again. (I fell a lot). So, in order to be like Indiana, when I find myself bored, I hum the theme song so I feel like I am doing something exciting. Weirdly, I hum it quite loudly and often times when people are talking. Is this a problem? (I also hum the Darth Vader/Imperial March Theme aloud when I think or see people I don’t like, and yes I sometimes accidentally do this to their face….)
2. I always thought it would be a good idea to hold a murder mystery dinner party, and invite a real murderer. That way it would really be suspenseful. But I don’t want to go to it, and I don’t want my friends there either. And also, I want this to be done by stupid celebrities that decide to film it.
3. I think, especially when I am in a room full of people and I am bored, that it would be really intense if people with glasses and people without glasses go to war. Would the people without glasses win just by knocking the glasses off people, or would the people with glasses win because they have better hearing due to their disadvantage in seeing?
5. When someone says hey, I have a story to tell you- I automatically feel dread. Why didn’t they just tell me the story without telling me that they were going to tell me? So while they are telling me the story I think about whether the story is going to be funny or sad, or long. I hate long stories. By the time the story is over, I realize that I didn’t even know what it was about.
6. I think it would be really cool if librarians became vampires, because then they would be eternally knowledgeable and the stacks would always be neat, tidy, and organized, and we would never have to worry about sun damage.
7. Lastly, I find myself asking, why can’t I think normal things? Why can’t I be like everyone else? But I may never find an answer. And maybe that’s ok, because boring is one thing I’m incapable of embracing.