True Thoughts of a Fat-Bottomed Girl

Ok, I admit, I love Queen but mostly because of the Fat-Bottomed Girls song. Because I have a fat-bottom. I can relate.  But back to Queen, every time Queen-Queen-GreatestHits11370_fsomeone tells me they are riding a bicycle, or hey look there is a bicycle, or oh did you see that bicycle,  I start singing ALOUD like a crazy person, BICYCLE, BICYCLE, BICYCLE, I WANT TO RIDE MY…..

Which is why I have dedicated a post to some of my idiosyncratic thoughts.

1.  Since I was a kid, I have wanted to be Indiana Jones. My mother told me that I couldn’t be him after I fell out of a tree again. (I fell a lot). So, in order to be like Indiana, when I find myself bored, I hum the theme song so I feel like I am doing something exciting. Weirdly, I hum it quite loudly and often times when people are talking. Is this a problem? (I also hum the Darth Vader/Imperial March Theme aloud when I think or see people I don’t like, and yes I sometimes accidentally do this to their face….)

2.  I always thought it would be a good idea to hold a  murder mystery dinner party, and invite a real murderer. That way it would really be suspenseful. But I don’t want to go to it, and I don’t want my friends there either. And also, I want this to be done by stupid celebrities that decide to film it.

3. I think, especially when I am in a room full of people and I am bored, that it would be really intense if people with glasses and people without glasses go to war. Would the people without glasses win just by knocking the glasses off people, or would the people with glasses win because they have better hearing due to their disadvantage in seeing?

4. Sometimes when I watch scary movies, and I am very afraid, I imagine xmen-3some of the X-Men showing up and then I think, what now evil murderer/beast thing?

5.  When someone says hey, I have a story to tell you- I automatically feel dread. Why didn’t they just tell me the story without telling me that they were going to tell me? So while they are telling me the story I think about whether the story is going to be funny or sad, or long. I hate long stories. By the time the story is over, I realize that I didn’t even know what it was about.

6. I think it would be really cool if librarians became vampires, because then they would be eternally knowledgeable and the stacks would always be neat, tidy, and organized, and we would never have to worry about sun damage.vladstudio_googlelibrary_1600x1200

7. Lastly, I find myself asking, why can’t I think normal things? Why can’t I be like everyone else? But I may never find an answer. And maybe that’s ok, because boring is one thing I’m incapable of embracing.


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7 Responses to True Thoughts of a Fat-Bottomed Girl

  1. Kayce Horgan says:

    LOL! Alechia I loved this glimpse into your amazing and colorful mind! I also hum theme songs, they make me feel like I am part of an epic adventure. And I also hum the Darth Vader theme song, but I hum it when I am happy. What can I say I like Darth Vader! Plus the song has some pep in it, I get really bouncy when I hum it. And I have always wanted to have dinner mystery party but not with real murderers. I always imagined costumes…I have this slight obsession with costumes. Costumes make me happy! 🙂 And I feel the same way about stories, but mostly just the stories you tell. Just joking! Your stories are freakin’ hilarious, I always love hearing them. So in regards to your last one, you are very normal…or else I am just abnormal. Hrm….:)

  2. Jen says:

    First off, I love you. You never were normal, nor will you ever be normal. But either will I. I think that the dinner party sounds fabulous! I have a recent obsession with serial killers (have you ever watched Dexter????). Can we invite people we don’t like?

    And I always hum a circus theme. ALWAYS.

    Fat bottom girl, you make the rockin’ world go round!

    ❤ ya!

  3. alechia u are toooo much

  4. Andrea says:

    Okay, so obviously I needed to catch up on your blogs! But this was really funny. One question though: What happens if you wear contacts? Whose side are you on in the glasses/non-glasses war?

  5. Natalie says:

    I think people like us might be normal and the so-called normal people are either not having as much fun as we are OR are in denial.

    Stumbled across your blog when searching “Where the Wild Things Are Images”. I think I’ll stay.


  6. alliedow says:

    Thanks Natalie!! Happy you like it and I look forward to your readership! I don’t think we can be in denial, but then maybe I am in denial about being in denial. And that is surely too much denial to think about, you know what I mean? Happy readings!

  7. malin says:

    I´m doing exactly the same thing when I watch scary movies. I´m like thinking you wouldn´t be so though if Wolverine came around and kicked your ass! 🙂

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