Exploding Underwear and Other Dangerous Ideas

My sister, seriously a size nothing(!), was working out at the gym on a machine nicely titled, Thigh Abductor. (How awesome is that name?) Well there she was, getting her thighs abducted when she felt the elastic on her underwear give way to some rumbling. Fellow worker-outers heard the commotion and looked over…. and my sis, trying to convey a sense of calm kept going until BAM! Her underwear exploded in a most spectacular fashion, and little scraps of underwear littered the floor as she embarrassingly ran to the bathroom. I love this story….which leads me to stating some good ideas and bad ideas.popo_embarrassed

Good Idea– Working out on a machine called Thigh Abductor

Bad Idea- Working out on a machine called Thigh Abductor while wearing dysfunctional panties.

Good Idea– Playing with a giant beach ball titled Big Bertha.

Bad Idea- Playing with a giant beach ball titled Big Bertha and breaking your hip bone unexpectedly when Big Bertha crushes you like the tiny insignificant ant you are. (Really can you ever explain this story to anyone without laughing due to it’s ridiculousness?)

2008-11-02-Beach-BallGood Idea– Playing volleyball.

Bad Idea- Playing volleyball and after a smashing victory, doing a celebratory dance that results in breaking your ankle.

Good Idea– Making delicious caramel…

Bad Idea- Making delicious caramel and then licking it off a spoon. It’s frickin’ hot!

Good Idea– Throwing a tomato at someone who deserves it in the heat of the moment.

Bad Idea- Throwing a tomato at someone who deserves it in the heat of theimages moment, and when they confront you on it- saying something along the lines of- “no I didn’t throw a tomato at you, but I have noticed that people have been getting hit by tomatoes recently. Spooky huh?” (Really? I could have done better…)

Good Idea– Writing haikus to inspire creativity in children.

Bad Idea- Writing haikus when not really knowing how to write them, and in the end writing this one…

She stood at the desk

Confusion clouding her face

Her hair was gone

Good Idea– Thinking mean things but not saying them aloud.

Bad Idea- Thinking mean things and then saying them aloud like, “I thought for a second a group of cats got together and all decided to meow incessantly, and then I realized it was just you, talking.”

48px-Gnome-face-embarrassed.svgI have so many more I could share but really isn’t that enough? I have been fortunate enough to have done a many stupid thing, but in the end, (and I am borrowing from a friend here) if you can’t laugh about these things, what’s the point?

Allie

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8 Responses to Exploding Underwear and Other Dangerous Ideas

  1. Kayce Horgan says:

    Hil-freakin-arious! That is the hardest that I have laughed in quite awhile.

  2. lol….my underwear really did explode..i will never wear a thong to the gym again.

  3. Jen Gabrielson says:

    What Alechia, nothing about knives or irons? You must have a million stories about that!

    And moral to the first story: don’t wear underwear to the gym.

    (haha you know I’m just kidding!)

  4. Diana says:

    I love it. Now the question is: are all these true stories? 🙂

    I’ll have to be wary of exploding underwear.

  5. alliedow says:

    all true stories…. every single one of them, that’s why it’s funny LOL.

  6. Sarah says:

    You are FANTASTIC. you never cease to amaze me with your awesomely clever jokes. seriously.

  7. Darrah says:

    Alechia,

    OMG! I know all these stories, you could write a book of all your escapades and it would be the best selling comedy book of the century maybe all time. How about all the times you set yourself on fire? ahhhh good times good times. Or the time you were in virginia and forgot how to stop the bike you were riding so you road into a bush trying to jump off. 🙂

  8. Kristin says:

    hahaha the poem….
    unforgettable.

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